


A Bloodwitch, a prince, a bet, and two exasperated girlfriends

by Gilded_Moon



Category: The Witchlands Series - Susan Dennard
Genre: Alcohol, Crack Treated Seriously, Drinking Bet, Humor, It's not anything bad I promise, Multi, aka stupid things happen and I blame Leopold, no beta we die like the twenty year truce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:59:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28015077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gilded_Moon/pseuds/Gilded_Moon
Summary: If someone had told Iseult that one day she would be sitting around a fire with three Hell-Bards, the prince of Cartorra, and her Threadsister while watching her boyfriend, the Bloodwitch named Aeduan, and her Threadsister’s boyfriend, the prince of Nubrevna, hold hands and skip around said fire while singing bar songs, she would have smacked them over the head with whatever was in her hand and told them to quit the drinking.Yet here Iseult sat.
Relationships: Aeduan/Iseult det Midenzi, Safiya fon Hasstrel/Merik Nihar
Comments: 10
Kudos: 11





	A Bloodwitch, a prince, a bet, and two exasperated girlfriends

**Author's Note:**

> I thought it's be hilarious if two of the most serious characters in the books got drunk, and this was born. Enjoy :) -Moon
> 
> *I'll put a warning here for alcohol use. There is no alcohol abuse or anything in that sphere, but I wanted to put a warning here for anyone who has squicks about alcohol. That being said, drink legally and responsibly if you are old enough to do so :)

If someone had told Iseult that one day she would be sitting around a fire with three Hell-Bards, the prince of Cartorra, and her Threadsister while watching her boyfriend, the Bloodwitch named Aeduan, and her Threadsister’s boyfriend, the prince of Nubrevna, hold hands and skip around said fire while singing bar songs, she would have smacked them over the head with whatever was in her hand and told them to quit the drinking.

Yet here Iseult sat. The evening had started off normally enough. They had sent up camp in the forests of Dalmotti while waiting to reunite with Mathew and Habim. Leopold and Lev had decided to pass the wait by stealing several barrels of wine. They didn’t steal just any wine, no they had to steal the strongest wine this side of the Jadansi.

Stolen wine had not been all that Leopold had planned. He had somehow started a bet that Aeduan couldn’t outdrink Merik.

Aeduan had gotten angry with Leopold and said he could outdrink anyone if he tried. Merik, damned Nubrevnan pride, said no, he could beat anyone before they finished a glass of the stolen wine.

Despite Iseult’s and Safi’s protests, Lev had cracked open one of the wine barrels and poured both men a glass of wine.

About two hours, nine more bets, and fifty talers later, Merik and Aeduan had passed drunkenness and were now completely wasted.

“Yo Hooo Yo hoooo a pirate’s life for meeeeee!” This was the fifth time Merik had sung this song. Drunk Merik thought it was hilarious. Sober Merik did not.

Aeduan stopped skipping and giggled. “Your sister is a pirate hehehehehe.”

Safi turned to Iseultg and asked, “Why did we let this happen, Iz?”

Iseult sighed. “We thought it would be funny.” She pinched the bridge of her nose as Merik started asking why he couldn’t be a pirate like his sister. “We also thought they would act like responsible adults.”

Safi shook her head. “Why in the Wells did we think that? I mean your Bloodwitch hisses at people, and Merik still doesn’t know how to use a button.”

“Why ladies, I’m disappointed in you.”

Iseult turned to see Leopold sitting down on Safi’s other side.

“Disappointed?” Iseult asked.

“Oh yes,” Leopold nodded. “This is the peek of comedy. I’ve already won fifty talers from Caden by betting who would start singing first.”

Iseult groaned as she remembered Aeduan singing _The Maidens North of Lovats_ sometime after the ninth glass of wine.

Leopold grinned at Iseult. “Come now, Iseult. You ought to be proud of your boyfriend for putting himself out there.”

“But he’s-“

Iseult’s response was cut off as Aeduan started slurring about how nice it would be to be a painter.

Safi looked bewildered. “Painting?! How did they go from piracy to painting?”

“They bothhh… start wiiith a peee,” slurred one of the drunks in question. Iseult turned away from Leopold to look at Merik who had somehow stumbled his way in front of Safi without tripping after he heard her bewildered questions.

“Painting is preeettyyyy,” Merik slurred. “Yoooou’re preeetyy.”

Safi blushed and said, “And you’re drunk. Sit down before you trip on your own feet.”

Merik pouted but clumsily took Leopold’s now empty seat. The prince was returning to his perch beside Lev where he could better watch the drunken antics unfold.

After he sat down, Merik looked around with utter confusion. Iseult had no idea what he was looking for until Merik cried out, “Aeduannnnn… come siit.” Merik leaned heavily into Safi while shaking his wine glass at Aeduan. “It’s soooooo comfy- hic”

“Okaayy. I’m comiiing,” slurred Aeduan.

Aeduan stumbled towards the side of the fire Iseult, Safi, and Merik were sitting on. He tripped over a rock and landed on his back at Iseult’s feet.

“Are you alright Aeduan,” Iseult said as she tried to get Aeduan into a sitting position.

Aeduan was heavy and refused to sit up. Instead, he stared at Iseult.

“You look-hic- nicccce, Iseult,” he slurred. “Like the moon”

Iseullt sighed, grabbed Aeduan’s shirt collar, and pulled him up to sit beside her before responding, “Thank you, Aeduan.”

Merik giggles from spot beside Safi. “Yooooou should ask her ouuuuut monk. Take-hic- her for a tum-tumble in the sheetssss.”

Aeduan turned red-from embarrassment not alcohol this time- and said in loud whisper, “Sssshhhh, Mer-hic- Merryy. You don’t saaaay that to a woman.”

A comically confused expression took over Merik’s face. “But yooou love her. You told me so.” Merik nodded sharply. The movement would have made him fall onto his face if Safi hadn’t grabbed Merik around the waist to hold him in place.

Iseult jumped when she felt Aeduan’s hands cover her ears.

“Doooon’t say that where sssshe can hear youuu,” Aeduan said. “I don’t want her toooo knowww.”

Aeduan removed his hands from around Iseult’s ears when Safi started laughing at him.

“Wow, monk. You are _really_ drunk,” Safi said between giggles.

“Why do youuuu say thaaat?” Aeduan was pouting now. Iseult started laughing.

She couldn’t help it. She thought Aeduan looked cute when he pouted.

Safi was still laughing as she answered, “You’ve been dating Iseult for months.”

Aeduan’s mouth dropped. “Realllly? I have?”

Iseult took hold of Aeduan’s hand and pinched the bridge of her nose with her other hand. “Yes. We had just reunited after getting separated at the Aether Well. And we… well it’s not im-important w-what we did. We started dating right after that.”

Aeduan smiled. “I’m _soooo_ lucky -hic-.”

Iseult sighed and was about to ask Safi how they were going to get Merik and Aeduan back to their tents when Leopold let out a shout.

“Ah General Habim, you’re here. And hello as well to your Heart-Thread.”

Safi turned a panicked face to Iseult. “How are we going to explain why the prince of Nubrevna and the Bloodwitch mercenary are completely wasted off their asses. Not mention how we even got our hands on that thrice-damned wine.”

Iseult looked helplessly at her Threadsister. “Do the logical thing and blame Leopold?”

“As if this was my fault,” sniffed the prince in question.

Safi glared at Leopold who had brought Mathew and Habim to the girls’ side of the fire. “It was your fault.”

“You and Lev did steal the wine, and you did start the drinking bet,” Iseult said.

At this, Merik tried and failed to stumble to his feet. He settled for shaking his empty wine glass at Aeduan and cried, “I still say I beat you mon-hic- monk.”

Aeduan shook his head. “No you diiiidn’t! Weee said the looser was whoever passed at first.”

Habim and Mathew said nothing as they watched the drunken argument continue.

Habim turned a raised eyebrow to Safi and Iseult. “Girls, care to explain how this happened?”

“Leopold and Lev stole the strongest wine this side of the Jadansi and started a bet that Aeduan couldn’t outdrink Merik,” said Safi with an innocent tone. “They got mad and started drinking to prove who could last the longest without passing out. Now we’re here.”

Habim sighed. “I am not dealing with them. Take them back to their te-“

A loud thud interrupted Habim. Merik had passed out and slumped off the log he had been sharing with Safi.

Aeduan raised arms and shouted, “Wooohhooo! I outdraaank the prince! Take that Leoopold.”

Aeduan lost his balance in his celebration and fell off his log. He giggled and looked up at an embarrassed Iseult.

Habim sighed again. “Get them back to their tents.”

“But Habim, I don’t think either of us can carry them on our own,” Safi said.

“Your boyfriend, your problem.”

Safi grumbled but grabbed Merik’s arms and began to drag him towards the camp.

“Come on Aeduan,” Iseult said. “Let’s go to bed.”

Mathew frowned at Iseult. “No ‘let’s’ Iseult. Put him in his own tent. You can sleep separately.”

Aeduan stared at Mathew while Iseult hauled him off the ground to lean against her side. In a loud whisper, he said, “Is that your dad?”

“We’re close enough to it,” said Mathew. “Why are you asking, Bloodwitch?”

To Mathew, Aeduan said, “Your daughter is a lov-hic-lovely woman.” To Iseult he said, “Your dads look like they want to gut me.”

“Thank you and believe me, we wish we could. Get him out of here Iseult.”

“Yes Mathew.”

*

It was very difficult to get a drunk man to walk twenty yards to a tent. Aeduan was conscious, but he was not anywhere near as graceful as when he was sober.

After about ten minutes, Iseult finally reached Aeduan’s tent. She pulled him inside the tent and began removing Aeduan’s out layer of clothes and boots.

Once that was done, Iseult helped Aeduan lay down on his bedroll and was about to leave for her tent, when Aeduan called her name.

“Iseult, waaaait.”

She turned around. “What is it Aeduan?”

He reached his arms towards her and made grabbing motions with his hands. “Staay with me pleaseee.”

Iseult wanted to stay. She normally slept in Aeduan’s tent anyway. But she didn’t want to make Mathew and Habim angry by sleeping somewhere they told her not to.

_They told you to stay away from the Bloodwitch too and now look at you._

With that thought, Iseult removed her boots and laid next to Aeduan. He smiled and threw an arm over Iseult’s waist.

_I’ll deal with Mathew and Habim tomorrow. They probably won’t be too mad at me for this, since they’ll be busy yelling at Safi and me for getting Aeduan and Merik so drunk._

Iseult rolled over and snuggled deeper into Aeduan’s warmth. Within minutes, both of the monk and the Weaverwitch were asleep.

*

Iseult’s prediction proved right when her mentors yelled at her and Safi for an hour while the camp watched Merik and Aeduan spend most of the morning with their heads in the nearby bushes.

It was worth it when Iseult and Safi got the chance to tell their boyfriends exactly what they had done and said the previous night.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Happy reading y'all. -Moon


End file.
